The Key to a Successful Marriage

The weekend doesn't have to end. Keep Talking on your own or with a group.

Start Talking - Find conversation starters for the group or with a friend.

This weekend’s message began with “heroes” of marriage sharing how they have thrived in marriage for decades.

• If you’re married, what would you share is vital to making marriage work?
• Heroes of marriage know how to manage the up and downs of marriage. If you’re married or have been married, what is or was the greatest challenge of your marriage?

Keep Reading – Read the Scripture and ask a question to get the group thinking.

Proverbs 29:18

Where there is no vision the people perish…

• The team shared that a vision for your marriage, based on God’s Word, is like a north star that will guide you for years.
• For those married, do you have a vision for your marriage? If so, how has it served you through the difficult times?

Amos 3:3

Can two walk together, unless they agree?

• Pastor James and Lisa shared that a shared vision creates unity. If each person in the marriage has a separate vision of what marriage should be, that will lead to chaos. As they said, “One vision plus one vision equals Division!”
• In your marriage, share how unity has been a benefit. How did division cause problems?

Keep Talking – Choose questions to create openness.

The teaching team shared that every marriage needs a vision of what their marriage should be, and a plan to make that a reality.

What are the Benefits of a Vision for your Marriage?

First, define your vision of marriage as a couple.

1. Look to God’s Word.

2. Allow the Holy Spirit to work in each of you.

3. Watch for positive examples of godly marriage.

• Pastor Lisa shared that point #2 is critical. What did she mean when she said that your marriage is only as healthy as you are?
• Do you have any positive examples of a godly marriage in your life? If you spoke to one of those couples today, what question would you ask them?

Second, what are the benefits of a realistic vision of marriage?

1. Vision gives clarity around what you really want for your marriage.

2. Vision simplifies decision-making.

3. Vision acts as an anchor during tough seasons.

• If you’re married, how have you seen a good, unified vision simplifies decision-making? What is an example from your marriage that you can share?
• If these three benefits of having a clear vision for your marriage are critical, why do so many couples fail to create one?
  

Third, a vision without a plan is a fantasy. So how do you get a plan?

1. Plan for Conflict

• Together, set ground rules/guidelines for how you will handle conflict. And remember, conflict should not be feared or ignored but seen as an opportunity for greater unity.
• If you are married, what is your plan for conflict? In other words, share a few of your ground rules or guidelines for handling conflict.
  

2. Plan for Community

• As stated earlier, every couple needs positive examples of good marriages. Remember, your marriage is the average of the five closest marriages you are friends with.
• How have you planned to connect with others with good marriages as a couple? What is one thing you have discovered from them and implemented into your marriage?
  

3. Plan for Intimacy

• As the team shared, this isn’t just planning for sex; it involves spiritual intimacy, emotional intimacy, physical intimacy (holding hands, etc.), and sexual intimacy.
• This can be a difficult topic for couples to discuss honestly. Which of the four areas have you and your spouse had the most successful discussion on? How did that happen?
  

Keep Moving/Going – Commit to a step and live it out this week.

• Lastly, Pastors Todd and Julie shared that all couples should pray together no matter what because that invites Jesus into the relationship. That can change everything!
• We were also challenged to ask ourselves, whether single or married, “Where I’m at today, is this leading me to a Christ-filled marriage?” How would you answer that question? What should your next step be as you seek a Christ-filled marriage?
• Will you commit to attending Ignite this Saturday, March 11 to invest in your marriage?
• S.O.A.P out a passage of Scripture from this week to continue growing your faith.

Keep Praying

• Prayer requests from everyone in the group.
• Pray

Keep Praising

“Friend of God” – Israel Houghton

“House of the Lord” – Phil Wickham

“You Hold It All Together” – Maverick City Music

“I Speak Jesus” – Charity Gayle

Or check out our "Faith Over Fear" playlist on Spotify and Apple Music.

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