Trusting God in the Dark

John woke up one Tuesday morning in 2015, completely blind in his left eye. It turns out his post-operative Lasik doctor removed his protective lens too soon, and an ulcer formed around his cornea. John’s blindness was enough to cope with—but now, if they couldn’t remove the ulcer, he would lose his entire eye. 

John’s ophthalmologists put him on an aggressive plan to treat the ulcer that involved hourly eye drops for seven days. He wasn’t informed that the eye drops could possibly kill the nerves in his ear—which is exactly what happened. John lost both his hearing and vision on his left side. 

To make matters worse, John lost the biggest client in his financial planning business. Within a few months, John lost his vision, his hearing, and the majority of his income. His business involved presenting and speaking regularly—but with warped vision and chronic headaches, he struggled to do the essentials his job required. With three kids in college, he wondered how he could afford to keep paying their tuition or make ends meet at all. 

All his life, John enjoyed singing. But after losing his hearing, he stopped. He couldn’t hear himself, and singing was a painful reminder of what he had lost. John never understood depression until it knocked on his door. He thought it was simple—just choose happiness, not depression. But during the darkest moments of his life, he finally understood that he didn’t choose depression; depression chose him. 

As John tried to wrap his mind around rebuilding his life and business, his wife, Traci, began to pray and hear from God. Even though everyone urged John to sue the doctor responsible for his loss of vision and hearing, Traci heard clearly from God that they were not supposed to. She also heard, “Keep tithing.” When she told John what she heard from God, John said, “No problem. Ten percent of zero is zero.” Traci clarified, “No, John, I feel like we aren’t supposed to change our tithe amount at all.” 

Unsure of how God’s plan made financial sense, John sought wisdom from Pastor Dave Simiele. Pastor Dave didn’t tell him what to do but reminded him that trusting God with our finances is not about a dollar amount; it’s about our hearts. John decided to trust God and his wife. He went home and reconfigured a financial plan that allowed them to keep tithing generously during their financial drought. 

John and Traci were both scheduled to attend a conference together. It was already paid for, and they were looking forward to a time to connect. But Traci heard from God once again. She felt like John was supposed to go alone—even though she couldn’t explain why. John was tempted to cancel the trip, but Traci insisted he go without her. The first session was during lunch. If the two of them were at the conference together, they would have slipped away for a private meal. But since John was by himself, he attended the group leadership lunch. Still feeling depressed about his hearing and vision loss, John couldn’t believe it when Erik Weihenmayer got up to share his story. Erik was the first blind person to reach the summit of Mt. Everest—he conquers remarkable world feats and speaks to others about living life without barriers. The next day, John went to the dinner session—another he would have skipped if his wife were with him. This time, they hosted special guest Mandy Harvey, the incredible deaf singer known for her golden buzzer moment on America’s Got Talent. John describes it as “God slapping him upside the head.” After Mandy sang, John told her his story. Mandy said to him, “Just keep singing. It’s not for them anymore. Now, you’re doing it for you. Just keep singing.” 

John drove back from the conference feeling like a new man. He called everyone he could think of to tell them, “I’m back!” He said, “Depression was a snowball down but a rocket ship back.” Not only did John’s depression lift, but within months, God replaced all of John’s income—this time with a partnership that couldn’t put his livelihood in jeopardy again. Their daughter got married, and their boys continue to thrive. John and Traci’s marriage grew stronger than ever, and they love serving in the marriage ministry at Christ Fellowship Boynton Beach. John’s business increased to the point that all three of his kids work for him now. And at John’s recent eye exam, he tested 20/30 in his left eye. His new eye doctor said, “There’s no reason why you should be able to see that well.”

John and Traci learned how to trust God on the mountaintops and in the valleys. They said, “Once we figured out what God meant in Malachi 3:10, giving isn’t even a hesitation anymore. Our only regret is that we didn’t start sooner.” John’s trust in God runs deeper than ever before, and for the rest of his life—he’s determined to keep singing and keep giving.

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