Quiz: How Well Do You Value Others?

In a culture that often says “look at me,” we’re called to live differently—to live to give, outdo one another in showing honor, and help people feel seen, heard, and valued. Take this quiz to discover how naturally you value others. For each question, choose the letter that best describes you and tally your answers at the bottom. After adding up your responses, read the corresponding results and learn small ways that you can grow in honoring those around you. 

----------------------------------------------------------

1. When meeting someone new, what’s your first instinct?

 A. Wait for them to speak first and keep the conversation short.

 B. Remember their name and ask intentional questions about their life.

 C. Talk mostly about yourself or the situation you’re in.

 D. Compliment them or make a kind observation to connect quickly.

2. A friend is discouraged. How do you respond?

 A. You offer a quick “you’ve got this” and change the subject.

 B. You tell them they’re not alone and remind them of their strengths.

 C. You try to fix the problem right away.

 D. You listen closely and speak encouragement that builds them up.

3. How do you help others feel valued in conversation?

 A. You focus on what you need to say and hope they understand.

 B. You affirm them and thank them for what they bring to the table.

 C. You nod along but don’t usually say much.

 D. You make a point to let them know their voice matters.

4. Someone shares a personal story with you. How do you respond later?

 A. You forget the details—you're not great with remembering.

 B. You bring it up later to show you were listening and that you care.

 C. You relate it to a similar story of your own.

 D. You remind them of it and encourage them based on that story.

5. When a coworker or teammate succeeds, how do you respond?

 A. You feel a little envious and move on.

 B. You celebrate their success and cheer them on.

 C. You don't say much, but you are happy for them.

 D. You tell others about their win so more people can celebrate them.

6. In a group setting, how do you tend to connect with others?

 A. You stick to people you know.

 B. You make an effort to engage someone who looks left out.

 C. You stay quiet unless someone talks to you first.

 D. You ask people about themselves and make them feel special.

7. How do you respond when someone is difficult to love?

 A. You avoid them to protect your energy.

 B. You pray for them and look for the good in them.

 C. You assume they probably don’t want to connect anyway.

 D. You give them grace and try to understand where they’re coming from.

8. When people think of you, what do you hope they say?

 A. “They keep to themselves.”

 B. “They really see and care about people.”

 C. “They’re smart and always have good ideas.”

 D. “They make people feel important.”

A’s: _____

 B’s: _____

 C’s: _____

 D’s: _____

----------------------------------------------------------

Mostly A’s: Reserved Responder

You tend to keep to yourself in relationships and may not always notice opportunities to connect more deeply with others.

Ways to grow: Start with small intentional actions—eye contact, remembering someone’s name, or celebrating their wins. You don’t have to be the loudest in the room to make others feel seen.

----------------------------------------------------------

Mostly B’s: Intentional Encourager

You consistently value and uplift others. You listen well, speak life, and look for ways to build others up. You're already living to give.

Ways to grow: Keep creating space for others and lean into deeper connections. Let people know their presence matters, even in everyday moments.

----------------------------------------------------------

Mostly C’s: Quiet Observer

You notice more than you express, and sometimes that holds you back from connecting meaningfully. You care—you just don’t always show it.

Ways to grow: Step outside your comfort zone by choosing to outdo others in showing honor. A simple word or gesture can leave a lasting impact.

----------------------------------------------------------

Mostly D’s: Supportive Connector

You make others feel seen, heard, and remembered. You’re the kind of person people feel safe around—someone who shines the spotlight on others.

Ways to grow: Keep being that “there you are” person in every room. Your consistency in valuing others is inspiring. Now look for opportunities to mentor or encourage others to do the same.

----------------------------------------------------------
More It's Complicated Series resources