How to Teach Your Kids to Live Generously

“I’d be happy to help,” I told our Communications team. “Just give me an article topic and a due date.” Then they asked me to write on the topic of “How to teach your kids to live generously.” Instant gut check! Do I even teach my kids to live generously?! I spent two weeks watching and analyzing my three kids who are now 16, 12, and 11. I was desperate to see if they exhibited any virtuous qualities that could be interpreted as generosity. 

Quickly, I realized that teaching my kids generosity is not a fixed lesson. I can teach my daughter to do long division (barely), and once she knows that skill she is able to apply it to future situations. The concept of generosity may sound simple. I can tell my kids to be generous. They may know that they should be generous, but its application is varied and must be lived out in real-life situations. Here are 5 mindsets I found helpful in modeling generosity for my kids: 

1. Generosity Is Caught

As a parent, how are YOU living out generosity? Kids will default to what they see, so in teaching our kids to be generous, the lesson must begin with us. Ask yourself, “Why do I want my kids to be generous?” What are the benefits of others catching this vision? This should serve as a motivator for us to internalize generosity so our kids are experiencing generosity daily in our homes. 

2. Model Generosity

My wife was in a sorority at Oklahoma State University, and a practice they modeled each week at formal dinner continues to impact our family. Instead of asking someone to pass the rolls or mashed potatoes, you had to ask if someone wanted more of that dish. “Cassidy, would you care for any more Brussel sprouts?” They would then respond with, “No thank you, but would you like some?” Granted, sometimes we say the magic formula in jest, but it forces everyone at the table to consider others and their needs before asking for what we want. 

3. There Is Enough

At the heart of generosity is the idea that there is enough to go around. I can share because I have an abundance mindset that my needs will be met as well. So when kids are fighting with a toy or arguing about who gets to play video games, redirect them to see beyond the immediate situation. We have lots of toys to play with. They are blessed to have time to play video games. How cool is it that we have a TV and a game console that lives at our house?! It’s possible to share and experience the joy that comes through being generous. 

4. Begin With Time

When we hear generosity, we often think about financial giving. Kids don’t operate with money the way their parents do, so giving up the $10 they get in the birthday card is a difficult decision. But we all have time. Generosity can be practiced at home through serving and giving up time to help others. My wife recently took our kids to help a friend and co-worker move. And in typical moving day fashion, it took about twice as long as they had expected! When we give up our time to help others, we model that people are important. We allow our kids to see firsthand that serving others with what little we have is both good for them and others. 

5. Make it Personal

We are more inclined to feel the tug of generosity when we are personally invested. We see endless news stories about all kinds of tragic events happening around the world. But what happens when you see a headline from your hometown? When we have a personal connection to a cause, we are more likely to get involved. If you know of a need, spend the time to help your kids understand the situation. If you want to help a family this Christmas, invite them over for a playdate so they can know why and how to better serve the family. If you have a ministry or a child you sponsor, do some research as a family to teach your kids about the situation. Then they might willingly use that birthday money to respond in generosity.

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