How Becoming a Dad Helped Me Understand God's Heart

When I learned I would be a father, I had a few areas of my life I wanted to improve. In addition to wanting to get healthier to play with my kids, I wanted to work on my dad jokes and my Mickey Mouse pancakes. However, no amount of preparation can prepare you for being entrusted with a human life. I distinctly remember how slowly I went over the first speed bump leaving the hospital parking lot, with baby Cohen strapped into his car seat in the backseat. The weight of the responsibility was awesome, and I knew life would never be the same. 

In reflection on nearly 14 years of being a father, I can’t help but notice how being a father has helped me understand the love of our Father. The first way that I better understand God after being a father is that His default towards us is love. 

Romans 8:35 plainly asks the question, “Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love?” When I held my son for the first time, my heart felt whole, overflowing with love. So many passages in the Psalms use overarching, poetic language to capture God’s love for us. “Your unfailing love, O LORD, is as vast as the heavens; your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds.” (Psalms 36:5)

The second way that I better understand God after being a father is that His discipline is always in love. My wife, Cassidy, recalls a moment holding our baby son while looking at her own mother in the room. She uttered the words, “I’m so sorry!” She suddenly understood the immense love her mother had for her and how much anguish she put her through when she was raising Cassidy! She had a whole new perspective on her mom’s efforts to discipline her. Likewise, discipline from God comes from a place of love. They are opportunities for us to learn. Proverbs 3:11-12 tells us, “My child, don’t reject the LORD’s discipline, and don’t be upset when He corrects you. For the LORD corrects those He loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom He delights.” 

When I correct my kids for lying, fighting with their siblings, or failing to obey our instructions, it’s because I know how devastating life on that path could be. They are facing training wheel consequences while they are under my roof, preparing them to make wise decisions later in life. The consequences we face for being out of step with God are a loving attempt to keep us on the right path because God has so much in store for us. 

Finally, I better understand God after being a father because I delight in my children. In Jesus’ day, children were seen as a nuisance. The patriarchal culture had little use for kids until they could contribute to society in adulthood. In Mark 10:13-16, Jesus welcomes the children and blesses them. When I became a father, I knew my time, money, and sleep would be devoted to this child in my arms. Watching their personality develop, introducing them to 90’s music, and listening to them talk about their day is a blast. Watching them perform in the classroom, on a stage, or on a ball field can only be described as delight. Translate that to the time we spend with our Father in prayer. Could it be that God delights in the relational time we spend together? The things we may view as laborious or an obligation, He delights in the time He gets to spend with us. 

I am thankful for my children, and every day I tell God as much. But my feeble attempts at parenting can only help but draw me closer to God, and better understand His love for us.

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