3 Ways to Level Up Your Relationship with Your Child | Christ Fellowship Church
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3 Ways to Level Up Your Relationship With Your Child

Finding new ways to connect in each new season.

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Melissa Miller

August 3, 2023

As parents, we all love having a front-row seat to all the changes that happen in our kids' most formative years. But if we aren’t careful, we can watch all the changes take place in a flash and realize we missed out on maintaining a connection along the way. 

As our kids level up into a new season, it’s a great time to consider how we might also level up our relationship. Here are three ways to strengthen your connection:

1. Show Interest to Accrue Interest

Most parents will find themselves with a child interested in something they have no clue about. If you’re like me, I don’t naturally speak the language of Roblox, Minecraft, or whatever new video game is trending for kids. But I’ve learned that if we show interest in our kids' hobbies and passions, they’ll find it easier to talk to us about everything else. 

Over the past few years, my oldest son developed a passion for working out. I’m not passionate about the latest bicep curl techniques or pre-workout drinks, but I am passionate about building a connection with my son. So, I asked him to be my trainer. Now, he takes me to the gym and teaches me everything he’s learning about fitness. In turn, we end up talking about life, God, family, school, and so much more. Showing interest in our kids' interests will accrue interest in our relationships. 

Parenting author, Catherine M. Wallace says, “Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.”

2. Make the Most of Time in the Car

Life with kids moves fast. As I watch my kids begin to tower over me, I’m constantly thinking about how much time I have left to influence my kids while they are still under my roof. 

One way I like to maximize my time with them is by using our time in the car to ask strategic questions. I used to grow frustrated when I asked about their day, and all they said was, “Good.” So I decided to come up with open-ended questions to spark better conversations. Here are some examples of things I like to ask: 

  1. What was your high and low for today? 
  2. What was one new thing you learned today?
  3. What did you have for lunch today?
  4. What was the hardest and easiest thing you had to do today? 
  5. What friend might need prayer right now?
  6. Did anything funny happen today? 

3. Point Them To Jesus

It’s easy to jump into problem-solving with our kids. But often, we miss out on giving them the opportunity to take their problems to Jesus first. Before we jump into reaction mode, the best thing we can do is pause and pray. When we stop and take the time to pray about school, friends, or big decisions, we give our kids the gift of a life-long rhythm of seeking Jesus in all things. 

I can’t count the number of times that situations resolved—not because we reacted, but because we prayed. 

Philippians 4:6-7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Every new season requires finding new ways to connect. Remember, show interest to accrue interest, make the most of time in the car, and always point them to Jesus.